Time To Get Moving! How Great Is God's Mercy and Grace!!

         Hello boys and girls, well girls since they are the only ones currently following my blog.  I know it has been over a year since I have updated my blog.  Things have happened in my life that kept me from it.  Here is a quick recap of the last year and a few months.  In July of 11' I got a job at Old Navy and at the end of that same month I moved very quickly out of my parents house into an apartment in the city with my best friend.  I had to move quickly because my parents were moving.  I was in that apartment for over a year and continued to work at Old Navy, even though it was only supposed to be temporary.  I also went through classes to become Catholic, classes known as RCIA.  I was confirmed in the Roman Catholic church on Easter Vigil this year.  (Maria Goretti being my patron saint.) I had to quit my job at Old Navy at the beginning of September because I had to move out of my apartment and into my parents new house and it was too far away from Old Navy and they usually worked me 16 to 20 hours a week and I got paid barely over minimum wage.  

            Since then I have been jobless and looking and of course doubting God and his work in my life.  Now on the same day I quit my job, my two best friends also quit theirs.  One, because she lived with me and had to move as well.  The other it was a complete surprise that she quit.  We both couldn't believe that we quit on the same day.  We both had no idea each of us were going to do that.  Fast forward to the week before Thanksgiving.  All three of us were still without work, broke, and didn't know what to do.  I started to doubt very heavily God was working on anything.  NOW I must say this, several months ago I feel that God told me that something big was about to happen to me, that everything was going to change.  I told this to my friend Brittany and she said she felt the same.  I told this to my friend Jessica and she also said that she felt that way.  All three of us agree that there is going to be a revival in Oklahoma, and you know what??!!!  IT'S HAPPENING!  I found this out going to deliverance a few weeks ago.  Gold dust is being seen and people can actually see it on their skin!

            However, two weeks later, I am depressed.  I am oppressed.  I am down trodden and down cast.  Last night I stayed in my room and cried for several hours till I fell asleep.  I woke up around midnight in the middle of a dream about the gorgeous Christian Kane (PG I promise).  And for the next several hours I threw myself a little pity party, watched Whose Line Is It Anyway on YouTube on my phone, and just thought all about myself and that nothing seemed to go my way.  Then at about six in the morning I just thought, and I think this was God, "God doesn't want me doing this anymore."  No more of the sinning I am doing that I do not wish to share on here and that I need to get rid of certain things in my possession that are the complete opposite of a Godly path.  It's time to move forward and ACTUALLY trust in Him.  And my little sister told me a few weeks ago "I just want my big sister and best friend back."  I realized I had not been myself and let everythying get me down. (And I want the old happy me back!) That's when a verse popped in my head.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

This popped in my head and I immediately had to look it up.  When I read the words I thought "DUH!  How could I have strayed?  I knew this!"  So I got up took a shower and washed away all my tears and my hurt and made some breakfast.  Malt O Meal, scrambled eggs, coffee, and a glass of milk.  I have done two loads of laundry.  And even though I am still with out a job, still broke, still a little worried (it's human)  I am putting my trust in God.  God does have big things planned for me and by golly I am ready and want them to happen to me!  I am going to lose the weight I need to, get healthy, find a home church, and get a job.  And you know what?  My God, my friends, and my family will be right there with me!

            For those who are a little confused about me converting to Catholicism and going to Pentecostal Deliverance and trying to find a church home when I can just go to the nearest parish to attend mass, I identify myself as both Catholic and Pentecostal; Pentolic as I like to say.  :)  I believe in speaking in tongues, laying on of hands, supernatural events and happenings, and the move of the Holy Spirit.  There are things I get from Mass that I do not get from a Pentecostal service (namely the Eucharist) and things I get from a Pentecostal service that I do not get from Mass (namely the spiritual connection and the sermon being Spirit led instead of a schedule)  I can dance, sing, and literally fall on my face in a Pentecostal service and get a Prophetic word.  I love the Catholic Mass though.  The beauty of Christ is in it.  I feel his presence when I partake in the Eucharist (communion).  I therefore need a Pentecostal church home and a Catholic church home.  (I miss St Charles Borromeo!)  And God is going to help me.

            This may be hard and I know that times are rough, but with God all things are possible and you know what!?  I am going to pray for what I want and believe that I have received it!   And give God the glory!  I pray blessings to everyone and I hope that you will join me on my journey as I could use encouragement.  I will do my very best to encourage you!  And even if you are not Christian, be it Atheist, Agnostic, Pagan, or otherwise, your encouragement on following my dreams and continually seeking will be greatly appreciated.  I know you are all very supportive of your friends so I seek that support!  

            I would love to hear from as many people as possible!!!  Thanks again!

God Bless!

Carlena

Here is a picture of me (far left) and the rest of my brothers and sisters and my mom on Thanksgiving.

Starting from far left back row: Me (25), Anthony (26), Momma (I like breathing so no age, lol), Bill (31), and Dana (30).  In the front is Elizabeth (24).

Scripture is copyrighted from the Holy Bible, New International Version.  

What's Been Going On/Things Are Changing!

Ok, I haven't updated this blog in forever, for those who follow, (Mary, Nicole, and Jessie ya'll rock!) I am going to do my best to update this more frequently.  I am hoping to get more followers soon.  ^_^  Anyways, I don't have any excuse for not updating other than being lazy, that has got to change and I am leaning on God to help me fix that.  I know that I have to work on it as well, but with God all things are possible!  :)

To update everyone on what has been going on in my life here it goes.  I have been going to college half-time and have just finished the semester.  It was a pretty easy semester, thank the Lord! lol.  I have not found a church home yet and to be completely honest I haven't even looked that much.  I attended a couple churches once and that's about it.  I feel bad about it now, but I can't go back in time and fix it, so from now on I have to go.  I need to find a home.  I am thinking about going to Life Church here in the city.  It is a huge church with several "branches" in the area and I think some in Texas.  I hear great things are coming from Life Church.  I also want to check out Crossroads Church (it's in the same area as Life Church but a different affiliation.)  Crossroads is affiliated with the AOG, for those of you who don't know what AOG is, it's Assemblies of God.  Yes, I consider myself a Pentecostal, not to be confused with Pentecostal Holiness THEY ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHURCHES.  I am a firm believer that no matter what denomination you choose, you should always go to the church that you feel the Lord God is leading you to no matter what, because that is where He needs you and where he wants you to grow.

Also, I decided to move out of the great state of Oklahoma.  I will be moving to Las Vegas, NV hopefully by the end of next year.  I want to make this clear though, if God decides he wants me to stay here, I WILL.  I don't know what God has planned for me yet, I know it's going to be big.  I am perfectly fine staying here.  My family is here and so are my friends, but I will follow God where he wants me to go.  I am currently single and if God has me meet someone before I move to Las Vegas and it keeps me here then so be it and I am totally fine with it.  God has everything worked out for me, I just have to trust in Him and follow.

In other news, I am still jobless.  It sucks BIG TIME.  I feel like a mooch sometimes, just living with my parents and not working.  I know it's hard on them and it's hard on me.  I have been sending in resumes all over the place but to no avail.  I am going to a job fair this Friday and am hoping that I make some contacts and maybe even get offered a job **fingers crossed**  I know the Lord will provide me a job.  He wouldn't have brought me back here without that planned out.  Like I said He has big things planned for me.  Prayers are definitely appreciated and wanted.  I never turn down prayers!  ^_^

On my weight loss goals, I have no clue if I have lost weight at all.  :(  Unfortunately it is hard to find scales that weigh over 330 pounds and the last time I weighed my self I weighed around 390 lbs.  Even if I were to have lost weight I could lose up to 60 lbs and not know it because of the scales.  I have been told I look like I have lost weight, I sure hope so.  I also have created a vlog on youtube.  I haven't updated in months as well, probably, again, because of laziness, and I don't have a decent webcam to take video and I don't have a camera.  But I am going to try and get more active on that.  Maybe just do it once a week, start slow, and make it a habit.  :)  I want to lose 225 lbs to 250 lbs.  My goal weight is 150 lbs to 175 lbs.  My main thing is I just want to be healthy.  I don't have insurance (eg. no job), and haven't since Sept 2010 which means not only have I not seen a doctor for the past several months, but have not been able to take my blood pressure medication, my beta blocker, and my cholesterol medication because I just can't afford it.  I have had bronchitis about 3 times since September and problems with my feet.  I pray that God provides me with a job to provide me with the necessary medication and I pray HEALING in the name of JESUS!  I receive healing in his precious name, FOR BY HIS STRIPES I AM HEALED!  My big thing I am most worried about is when I walk my lower back and upper part of my backside go numb, yes numb!  It scares me!  Again I know that I need to cast my worries on God but I am human and fall short.  I pray that he takes all my worries away!

Finally, because this blog entry is getting pretty long and I want people to read it, ^_^ I want to conclude that I am not complete.  I have doubted and have been troubled.  I have tried to figure things out in the past 6 months, much to my dismay, I alone have not been able to figure how to fix things.  I watched a Joyce Meyers show last night on The Church Channel and she told us to let go and let God take control.  We want so much to hold on to what we have and look at what God has for us and try to decide which one we think is better.  LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!!!  And that's what I need to do.  Thank you to all who have spent your valuable time reading this, it means a great deal to me!  I look forward to your comments and to more blog posts!  Love you all!

God Bless!
Carlena

I leave you all with this scripture!  

      Proverbs 3:5-6

        (5) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (6) in all ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.

O Little Star of Bethlehem

Bright good morning to everyone and Merry Christmas!  Today is the day we celebrate Jesus's birth, and what a GREAT day it is!  I live in Oklahoma, so we normally dont get snow on Christmas, this one is no exception.  This is pretty cold though.  Probably not as cold as Fargo, North Dakota, but it is freaking cold for us Oklahomans at around 31 degrees with a wind chill of 17 degrees. *BRRRRRR*  Luckily I have a nice hot cup of coffee to help keep me warm.

Before I get to what I am going to talk about today I wanted to say I received a powerful word last night.  Staying up late I was flipping through the channels and playing on the internet.  I stop on ion because Criminal Minds was on (love that show), well at midnight they normally go to infomercials or church services that broadcast their services.  I decided to keep it on the channel because the church that was on was singing a really good Christian song I never heard before.  I decided to just leave the channel on and go back to the internet.  Well they had a guest speaker on, an evangelist.  He begun to talk about 10 promises that we a PROMISED.  And he started saying that there will be miracles happening soon.  24 hour miracles, 72 hour miracles, and 90 day miracles.  He said to have faith and to sow what I can.  Of course he mentioned into his ministry, but there are other things you can sow when you have no money, and I have none.  God gave me peace.  The speaker said that the loan you have been needing to get will come to you and that I needed to trust in God and be ready to receive, and I tell you it washed over me!  God is here and God is ready to bless me!  HALLELUJAH!

With that said, I want to talk about something important in the bible.  Probably one of the most important stories in the bible, that of Jesus's birth.  You can find the story of Jesus's birth in Matthew 1&2, and Luke 2.  Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem to be counted on the census since this was where Joseph is from.  While they were there, Mary went into labor.  The was no rooms left in the inn(s) in Bethlehem, but the innkeeper let them stay in the manger where they would be out of the cold.  It was there Jesus was born that night.  She wrapped him up and placed him in the manger.  Then an angel of the Lord appeared to the shepards and told them the good news: "A Savior is born, he is Christ the Lord!"  The sheperds left to see if this had truely happened.  When they saw that it had happened they spread the good news.  However there was one man who didn't like the idea of a Savior being born: King Herod.  He sent the Magi to see if it was true so that he could go and worship him aswell.  The Maji sent out on their journey and did indeed see the Star of Bethlehem and followed it to the Lord Jesus.  They gave him gifts of gold, franincense, and myrrh.  However, being told that they should not return to King Herod because he wished to kill the baby and to return to their home in Egypt, they returned to their home in Egypt by a different route.

This my friends is the birth of Jesus.  Most know that Mary was promised to Joseph and that she became pregnant with God's son and Joseph, in a dream, was told by an Angel of the Lord that she will be pregnant and to marry her even though she was pregnant and the baby was not his.  Now you need to know that in this time, a woman who was pregnant out of wedlock was not a good thing.  Joseph followed the word given to me and was the dad to our Savior, thank him so much for protecting the Virgin Mary and our precious Savior Jesus Christ.

This story means so much to me.  One of the most known stories (the other being the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ) across the whole earth.  This shows me Gods unending love and grace.  How wonderful it is that we have a savior who loves us whose sole purpose on this earth was to die for our sins!  I thank the Lord everyday for giving me the chance to be forgiven and for giving me unending blessing and love.  He is worthy to be praised!

With that I leave you so that I can spend time with my family this Christmas morning.  May your Christmas be bright and all your loved ones by your side.  And May the Lord God be with you in your heart!

God Bless!
Carlena

Here is verse for you! :)
         Luke 2:14  
              Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.

A Beautiful Beginning

I am new to the blogging world.  While I have had a blog in the past (it was many years ago and on a different website), it never truely developed.  I decided to start a blog tonight.  A serendipitous discovery led to this beginning.

The night started out normal for me.  I am on Christmas break from college and being any good college student, I slept till 4:30 p.m. today.  Yes P.M.  I watched a couple movies, had dinner with my parents, played on farmville (yes I do love that game).  Being that I slept till 4 in the afternoon, I have resigned to the fact that I will be up all night.  Now I got bored on the internet (shocking for most people) and decided to scan the channels to see what is on tv.  We don't have satellite or cable so the local channels is what I make due with.  I actually don't mind.  I watch a lot of pbs and ion (such great channels and I love Criminal Minds).  Well we have 5, yes 5, christian channels on the local digital channels.  While surfing them I landed on the Church Channel.  Joyce Meyers was on and I stopped, don't know why, but I did.  Maybe it was because of her mispronoucing Philistine, I have no clue.  God had me stop and listen.

Before I continue I want to give you a little background on me.  I am 23 years old.  I am single, never been married, and have no children.  I am a born again believer in the risen Son of God.  I don't put labels on my faith, but if you wanted to know I attend an Assembly of God church.  I am a tongue talking, dancing, full believer in Jesus Christ, and I believe I can lay hands on someone and they be healed, that is the beauty of my God!  I weigh a little over 400 pounds.  While most people don't believe me when I say that (I carry my weight well because I have been overweight all my life), it is the truth.  I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  I have to take 3 medications daily.  However, I left my corporate job to go back to school.  I graduated with a history degree in the spring of 2009 and spent a year working at an insurance agency.  Because of this I am without insurance and with out medication.  Through prayer and decisions, I decided to go back and get my teachers certification.  I knew all along thats what I wanted to do, but decided getting out of college and making money was more important.  My weight has cause many problem, health wise, and has given me low self esteem.

With that being said, I was watching Joyce and she was talking about David and Goliath.  The words she spoke were powerful.  I have been thinking a lot about money issues and my weight (I have to come up with money for next semester and I don't know how that will happen).  She said we need to say, because we are, "I am a giant killer!"  Just like David, he slew Goliath the giant.  She started talking about weight.  She said that we need to find what we want to fix, find scripture to help us, pray, and start acting on it.  WE have to choose to let go of the worry but pray to God that we will do everything we can do.  When we do that God will do what we cant and we have to allow him to tell us the things we need to change and to do it.  WE HAVE TO MAKE PEACE WITH EVERYTHING AND ACCEPT GOD'S GREAT MERCY AND GRACE.  We also have to get in his word everyday to fully know him.

So with my bible in one hand and my pen in another, I sat down and tried to study the word of God.  I have known God for quite some time.  Yes I doubted him a couple times and turned completely away from him, that's another story.  I realized when I sat down, that I have never actually tried to read the bible and study it.  I didn't know where to begin.  So I got on facebook and went to some friends profiles.  These friends I was sure would have a verse or something to help me get started.  Well they didn't.  But one friend, who actually just became a minster, had a link to her blog on her facebook.  I knew I could go there and find something.  I did and found myself on this website.  After reading a couple of her entries, I decied to just text her.  Swallow my pride and tell her, "I'm not this big, studying the bible, christian, everyone thinks I am."  I asked her to pray for me first and then asked her to tell me where to start.  She gave me John as a starting point and then to move on to Genesis.  I have not yet begun these because after she texted me this, I looked up at the computer moniter and saw her blog.  I knew then that I was meant to create a blog.  To help me follow along God's powerful word, but to also make myself accountable to my reading and my study.  I also know that someone will come along and find my blog worth reading, and possibly turn to Christ or come back to his warm embrace.

That my friends is my beginning.  God is going to be working on me hardcore.  Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and I invite you to join me on this adventure.  I will post progress on my weight loss, new things I learn, scriptures I found that spoke volumes to me, prayers that get answered and ones that don't, happenings with my friends and family, and my walk with Christ.  No one said following God would be easy, but the rewards are so great. 

I leave you will this till next time:
         Psalm 139:22-23
               Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

May God Bless You,
Carlena